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10 Good Parenting Tips

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Parenting is not easy. Good parenting is hard work. How to be A good parent? What makes a good parent?

A good parent is someone who strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child.

A good parent doesn’t have to be perfect. No one is perfect.

No child is perfect either … keeping this in mind is important when we set our expectations.

Successful parenting is not about achieving perfection.

But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t work towards that goal.

Set high standards for ourselves first and then our children second. We serve as a role model for them.

Here are 10 tips on learning good parenting skills.

Many of them are not quick nor easy. And probably no one can do all of them all of the time.

But if you can keep working on the tips in this parenting guide, even though you may only do part of these some of the time, you will still be moving in the right direction.

 

(1) Be A Good Role Model

Walk the walk. Don’t just tell your child what you want them to do. Show them.

Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation​1​. We are programmed to copy other’s actions to understand them and to incorporate them into our own. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully.

So, be the person you want your child to be respect your child, show them positive behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotional and your child will follow suit.

 

(2) Love Them And Show Them Through Action

Show your love.

There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Loving them cannot spoil them.

Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love can — things like material-indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that’s when you’ll have a spoiled child.

Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them and listening to their issues seriously.

Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth and contentment, from these the child will develop resilience and not to mention a closer relationship with you.

 

(3) Practice Kind And Firm Positive Parenting

Give your child positive experiences. They will have the ability to experience positive experiences themselves and offer them to others.Give your child negative experiences. They won’t have the kind of development necessary for them to thrive.

Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with your child. Ride through an emotional tantrum. Solve a problem together with a positive attitude. Not only do these positive experiences create good connections in your child’s brain, but they also form the memories of you that your child carries for life.

When it comes to discipline, it seems hard to remain positive. But it is possible to practice Positive Discipline and avoid punitive measures.

Being a good parent means you need to teach your child the moral in what is right and what is wrong. Setting limits and being consistent are the keys to good discipline. Be kind and firm when enforcing those rules. Focus on the reason behind the child’s behavior. And make it an opportunity to learn for the future, rather than to punish for the past.

 

(4) Be A Safe Haven For Your Child

Let your child know that you’ll always be there for them by being responsive to the child’s signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm, safe haven for your child to explore from.

Children raised by parents who are consistently responsive tend to have better emotional development, social development, and mental health outcomes.

 

(5) Talk With Your Child And Help Their Brains Integrate

Most of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them carefully.

By keeping an open line of communication, you’ll have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there’s a problem.

But there’s another reason for communication — you help your child integrate different parts of his/her brain.

Integration is similar to our body in which different organs need to coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body.

When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more cooperative behavior, more empathy and better mental well-being.

To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how he/she felt to develop attuned communication.

By keeping an open line of communication, you’ll have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there’s a problem.

But there’s another reason for communication — you help your child integrate different parts of his/her brain.

Integration is similar to our body in which different organs need to coordinate and work together to maintain a healthy body.

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(7) Pay Attention To Your Own Well-Being

Parents need relief too.

Pay attention to your own well-being.

Often times, things such as your own health or the health of your marriage are kept on the back burner when a child is born. If you don’t pay attention to them, they will become bigger problems down the road​8​. Take time to strengthen your relationship with your spouse.

Don’t be afraid to ask for parenting help. Having some “me time” for self-care is important to rejuvenate the mind.

(8) Do Not Spank, No Matter What

No doubt, to some parents, spanking can bring about short-term compliance which sometimes is a much-needed relief for the parents.

However, this method doesn’t teach the child right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear external consequences. The child is then motivated to avoid getting caught instead.

Spanking your child is modeling to your child that he/she can resolve issues by violence.

Children who are spanked, smacked or hit are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes. Later in life, they are also more likely to result in delinquency and antisocial behavior, worse parent-child relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or abuser.

There are a variety of better alternatives to discipline that have been proven to be more effective, such as Positive Discipline (Tip #3 above) and positive reinforcement.

 

(9) Keep Things In Perspective And Remember Your Parenting Goal

What is your goal of raising a child?

If you’re like most parents, you want your child to do well in school, be productive, be responsible and independent, respectful, enjoy meaningful relationships with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.

But how much time do you spend on working towards those goals?

If you’re like most parents, you probably spend most of the time just trying to get through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in their book, The Whole-Brain Child,

instead of helping your child thrive, you spend most of time just trying to survive!

To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back.

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